Let’s be honest: talking about money with your spouse isn’t easy for most. One of you might be more into the budget apps and spreadsheets, while the other just wants to know the bills are paid and the vacation is booked. One of you might love long-term planning (me) and the other might feel like “next month” is far enough. Sound Familiar?
As a financial advisor, I have these conversations with couples regularly. And as a husband myself, I live them too. The good news is, you don’t need to be totally aligned in your money mindset to make great progress together—you just need the right rhythm, the right mindset, and a little grace. (or a lot, ha!)
Here are a few ways I approach financial planning as a team – without turning it into a source of stress.
Start with “Why,” not “How”
Before you talk budget or investments, talk about goals, what do you both want for you family in the next 5, 10, or 20 years? Is it more time at home while the kids are young? A second property by the lake? Helping pay for college without stress? These goals make the money talk meaningful.
Without that shared vision, it just feels like a spreadsheet of numbers and rules.
Keep it Casual and Consistent.
Don’t wait until you’re fighting about an unexpected expense or stressed about taxes to have your “money talk.” Instead, build it into a consistent conversation. Check in during slower moments, after the kids are in bed or when you’re taking a walk. It’s not a full-blown budget meeting. It’s more like, “hey, do we still feel good about the way we’re saving for the trip next spring?” or “should we shift anything with the kids’ school expenses this year?”
Make it normal, Make it short. And make it frequent enough that it doesn’t feel like a big, scary thing.
Divide and Conquer, But Share the Map
In my relationship, I naturally take the lead on paying bills and tracking investments. It’s totally fine – but it’s important that both partners know the basics. If something happens to me tomorrow, my wife needs to know where the accounts are, who to call, and what monthly expenses look like. She doesn’t need to be a financial whizz, but transparency is key.
Give Each Other a Little Grace
We all bring money baggage into marriage. Childhood experiences, past mistakes, different ways of viewing risk, it all shows up when you’re talking dollars and cents. You have to remember your spouse isn’t your financial clone, and that’s a good thing, You’re a team, not opponents.
If you haven’t had a financial conversation with your spouse lately, August is a great time to start. The kids are heading back to school, routines are settling in, and it’s the perfect season to set fresh goals together. And if you need help getting the conversation started, you know where to find me.
August 2025
