Life in the Middle: Finding Perspective in the Sandwich Generation

Over the years, I’ve had countless conversations with clients about caring for aging parents, helping children get launched into adulthood, and juggling the responsibilities that come with both. Lately, I’ve realized those conversations have become a lot more personal.

As I look around my own life today, I find myself firmly in what is often called the “sandwich generation,” and it has given me a new appreciation for the importance of patience, planning, and perspective.

When Multiple Generations Need You at Once

For most of my career as a CFP®, I have helped clients navigate life’s transitions: retirement, college funding, long-term care decisions, career changes, estate planning, etc. While every family is different, I’ve learned that many of life’s biggest challenges occur when multiple generations need us at the same time.

Today, I am experiencing that firsthand.

On one side, I have aging parents who increasingly face medical, financial, and lifestyle decisions that come with advancing age. On the other side, I have children entering some of the most important years of their lives.

Our son Kale is a senior in college, standing on the threshold of adulthood, weighing career choices and determining what comes next. Our daughter Kelsey works alongside us in the business, continuing to grow in her role and make her own mark. Our son-in-law Zach is my business partner, creating a unique blending of family and professional relationships that requires thoughtful communication and mutual trust.

And somewhere in the middle, I am trying to balance all of those responsibilities while continuing to lead and grow our practice.

The Financial Pressures of the Sandwich Generation

Many people think of the sandwich generation primarily in financial terms. Certainly, finances play an important role.

Aging parents may face healthcare costs, long-term care needs, housing decisions, and estate planning considerations. Adult children may need guidance regarding student loans, career transitions, housing purchases, or retirement savings. It is not unusual for individuals in their fifties and sixties to feel financial pressure coming from both directions simultaneously.

What I’ve discovered, however, is that the greatest challenge often isn’t financial.

It’s emotional.

When Family Roles Begin to Change

As parents age, the relationship begins to change. The people who once guided every major decision in our lives may eventually rely on us for support and counsel.

Those conversations can be difficult.

I’ve learned that listening is often more important than having the right answer. No one wants to lose independence, and no adult child wants to feel they are taking away a parent’s dignity.

At the same time, our children are building lives of their own. As parents, we want to offer wisdom without controlling outcomes. We want to help, but we also need to allow them the freedom to learn, grow, and occasionally make mistakes.

That balance can be surprisingly difficult.

Different Generations, a Common Need

The overlap creates a unique perspective. One day I may be discussing medical concerns and future care plans with my parents. The next day I may be talking through career goals with Kale or collaborating with Kelsey and Zach on business decisions.

Each generation faces different challenges, yet all share a common need: thoughtful guidance and support.

When markets become volatile, I often remind clients to avoid making emotional decisions based solely on current circumstances. Life works much the same way.

The busy seasons can feel overwhelming when viewed day to day. But when we step back and take the long view, we often recognize the blessing hidden within the responsibility.

Finding the Blessing in the Responsibility

Not everyone gets the opportunity to care for aging parents. Not everyone gets to watch children launch successful careers and independent lives.

These responsibilities can be demanding, but they also represent some of life’s richest relationships.

The sandwich generation is not easy. Some days feel like a constant balancing act between family, health, career, and financial obligations.

Yet I am increasingly convinced that the goal is not achieving perfect balance. The goal is being fully present for the people who matter most during the seasons when they need us.

I’ve stopped worrying as much about whether everything is perfectly balanced. At this stage of life, that’s probably unrealistic anyway.

Taking the Long View

Instead, I’m trying to appreciate this season for what it is.

My parents are still here. Kale is preparing for the next chapter of his life. Zach and Kelsey are helping shape the future of our business. Those realities come with responsibilities, but they also come with tremendous blessings.

Someday this season will be behind me. When I look back, I don’t think I’ll remember every appointment, conversation, or decision.

I’ll remember the people.

And that’s a perspective worth holding onto through The Long View.

September 2026