I believe we all want to be more thankful in our lives. But it seems we get so bogged down in our daily tasks that it’s hard to keep it at the top of our hearts. Every year, even though we don’t really slow down, Thanksgiving comes around as a reminder to be more thankful for the things around us. Our social surroundings push this idea to us through commercials, children’s school projects, and even financial advisors’ blogs, begging us to stop and realize that we all have a lot that we are blessed with. I don’t think my house is any type of exception. We struggle just as much, if not more, than the next house. But this year, the Henderson household got an early Thanksgiving gift (please don’t think we don’t give gifts on Thanksgiving). In one of the most unlikely places, a child being difficult.
In parenting, punishments can be an art form.
The goal shouldn’t diminish or destroy the person but get them to see the error and hope for true repentance. Punishments are part attention-getting, warning, and a dose of empathy. A great punishment affects the guilty and the world around them. Recently, one of my kids was caught smarting off to their mother, which one should never do, and complaining about their life and its privileges in front of their friend who was being held hostage by this awkward moment. This was not the day’s first or last offense, which included eye-rolling, more complaining, and general disregard for people around them. It was grumbling at its finest.
In response, my wife and I informed the guilty party that a punishment was to be given by the end of the day.
I wanted to ensure there was no confusion on the charges or an opportunity for revisionist history. At the end of the day, we took away a device, gave them an earlier bedtime, and added a daily task—a gratitude journal. The child had to write three sentences daily on things they were thankful God put in their life. I felt the punishment should fit the crime. I didn’t know the biggest benefits would be interesting reading and a look into my own heart.
First, the child made a header with ten frowny faces drawn on it (we have no idea how we got that number) and a thought bubble to the side that said, “Not fun,” “7-day punishment.” The journal included kind words about their siblings, house, and friends. But also, Gatorade and Body Amor sports drinks “because they’re good and healthy,” good food their mother makes, and the dump “because if we didn’t, the world would be stinky.”
Like most people, I forget there is a world out there for which to be thankful.
I should be more mindful of my day-to-day needs and how my heart does not naturally turn to offer thanks for the essential things. So, out of this punishment, I proposed to my wife that the whole house should have daily gratitude sentences starting and finishing the day, just entering and exiting our days, attempting to keep the idea of Thanksgiving in our house year-round.
My prayer for my household and yours is that not just during Thanksgiving but as the year passes, we will appreciate the daily blessings around us more. The communal and personal privileges that allow us to lead productive and peaceful lives. I wish you and your family a happy Thanksgiving full of true gratitude.
November 2024
