“It was all I could do to keep from cryin’
Sometimes it seems so unless to remain…”
That little tidbit is stolen from the Steve Goodman song You Never Even Call Me By My Name. It pretty much sums up the first half of September for me. Dunno about the second half of September as of this writing, but I’m not betting grandma’s house that it’s going to be a whole lot better. The month started with the stock market going into the old dumperooski for the first week of the month, followed by some prostate surgery (I was gittin’, not givin’), and the entertainment and enlightenment of the presidential debate…or lack thereof. If that wasn’t bad enough, somebody scheduled Friday the 13th on an actual Friday this year. What were they thinking?
In a problem more pertinent to our everyday lives.
I did some internet research on how to peel a banana and found several articles that told me the secret to peeling bananas is to do so from the bottom; this, it was alleged, will result in no “strings” remaining attached to said banana. Further evidence, I discovered to my deep disappointment, that the internet is filled with lies.
As to the prostate surgery, no worries there about any serious issues, we were merely opening up the plumbing. It hurt like the devil, though, and if you are looking for new and exciting adventures for your next vacation, this should NOT be added to your list. Not without a two-week supply of pain pills anyway.
As to the presidential debate, [long silence]. Okay! Enough said there! Well, except for saying that I keep waiting for a candidate that will promise to replace those plastic containers you get in the grocery store bakery with something that won’t wake everyone in house when you open them at 2:30 in the morning. (Yeah, I stole that idea from some (other) internet wag.) And leaf blowers. All leaf blowers should be outlawed except for mine. This is because I never use mine in such a way/time/place that would disturb anyone. But then again, that may just be a universal conceit.
Now to not-much more serious matters:
You will recall that Churchill “Churchy” LaFemme, the Okefenokee mud turtle of Pogo fame, spent most of his life worrying about Friday the 13th, fearing the inadvertent path under a ladder or two, avoiding black cats and otherwise attempting to mitigate a plethora of superstitious fears. Particularly worrisome to him came about when Friday the 13th occurred on a Tuesday or Wednesday. Such a predicament clearly represented some ominous, but unperceivable, doom lying just around the corner. He was not, however, satisfied to hide under the bed (or in the mudhole, as it were) but felt compelled to seek out all who would listen so he could project his fear onto them. This, of course, likely motivated his friend Pogo to repeat his famous intonation of Earth Day 1970-something, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
I am not superstitious, not one iota, and I used to have great fun spinning up friends and acquaintances that were. The fun from that little adventure has gone the way of the dodo bird, however, because I find so much superstition and similar stupidness is alive and well in the world today to the point it is darn near suffocating. The internet isn’t the cause of it, but it surely has offered a superhighway for the rapid transmission from one dolt to the next.
On the other hand, there was some better news in early September.
In early July, I gave my construction guy the go-ahead to rebuild the deteriorating cedar fence between my house and the neighbor to the south. He finally got off the dime and completed the work on Thursday of the first week in September. On Monday night, four days later, the neighbor’s tree fell on it. This is neither proof of the existence of bad luck, an ill omen, or any other such claptrap. It is what we call “Life”.
Similarly to these little issues, I read a number of articles during the second week of September that were in anguish over the question, “When the Federal Reserve Board lowers rates at their meeting in a week(ish) – which they surely must – will it be by one-quarter of one percent, or will it be a half of a percent?”
This boggles the mind. Who are these people and what are they trying to accomplish? Maybe a better statement question is, “how can people that think like this get a national outlet for the tommyrot?”
When any responsible investment is designed for long-term success, why then is so much of the financial media wrapped up in short-term events?
I ask you; do you think a ¼ of one percentage point interest rate move this week is going to make a difference in the long-term outcome of your portfolio when you review it at age 92 &1/2”? This kind of thing just absolutely wears me out.
Rest assured that we are not so foolish as to depend on the speculating of the Fed meeting for our investment plans; we use chicken bones and tea leaves.
Okay, my Compliance Office just went nuts. That was a joke. I only use chicken bones for steeping broth for soup and tea leaves for a drink “with jam and bread.” Rarely, if ever, do I confuse the two.
So, my point this month is this: don’t let the loud and stupid stuff we all hear every day get you down.
The TV and the iPad still have off buttons. As we each build a life plan with all its many subsets, including our investment plans, I will invoke a story I have heard told about St. Augustine.
A fellow was passing by Augustine’s house one day and found him working in the garden. Wishing to engage Augustine in a philosophical discussion, he stopped and asked, “Augustine, my friend, if you knew the world was ending later today, what would you do?”
“Finish planting the row,” came the reply,
On your behalf, we, like both Augustine and Candide, will keep tilling the soil.
And with that outlook, I am looking forward to the last half of September. It’s gonna be great.
October 2024
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. All performance referenced is historical and is no guarantee of future results.
